Dear Diary

Make a Wish

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I’m not going to sugar coat the truth for you guys on this one: I’m a total birthday princess.

For as long as I can remember, I’ve been totally insane about my birthday. As a kid, I’d make plans and send out invitations months in advance, and I even started making birthday wish lists with links, images, and level of priority (what a brat huh?)

My traditions have grown and developed as the years have gone by, and I don’t plan and obsess quite as much as I used to (or make lists at all for that matter), but my level of excitement hasn’t dulled much, and there are a few birthday traditions that I still hold near and dear. I love getting together with my friends and picking out a special dress just for the big day (usually the more glitter the better!) I always open my presents first thing in the morning in bed just like I always did with my parents back home, and I eat exactly what I want, all day, no matter how inappropriate my cravings (and yes, this usually means cake and ice cream for breakfast!)

But today, I’m 24, and for the first time, the joy I usually feel about my birthday is altered ever so slightly by the creeping in of anxiety and pressure. I’ve had a life changing year since last August: I jumped into my career with both feet, and I feel so lucky that I’ve been happy and successful in it so far. I’ve worked on so many incredible projects, had all sorts of magical adventures, and made so many wonderful new friends. I fostered dogs and helped them find homes, moved into a new apartment, learned a lot of information about beauty products and lipstick application, went vegan and then went back again (still struggling with that one), and dyed my hair about 15 different colours, all in the span of 365 days.

So why all the negativity?

The problem is, though I’m still really young, I get anxious that I’m running out of time. There are so many things I want to do, feel, see and hear during this short blur that is my one shot at life, and lately I’ve been feeling worried I’ll never be able to get it all done. I want to get married and start a family by 27 (I know, I’m crazy), but I also want to visit South East Asia in the next couple of years, and build my career and maybe even buy a house: is it even possible to do all of that in such a short period of time?

The answer is no, It probably isn’t possible, but looking back, that’s sort of the beauty of life isn’t it? I have done so many things I’ve expected and planned to do, but so many of my best memories have been built from spontaneity, from magical surprises and shocking heartbreaks. Whether I check off my little mental 20-something checklist, I think I need to remind myself that every year, in fact every minute of every day, is a gift, and all I can do is make the most of every second, and appreciate every passing moment.

At the end of the day, I really have no idea what 24 has in store for me, but if it’s even half as glittery and fun as 23 was, I can’t wait to find out.

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6 comments

  • Happy Birthdaaay!
    I am too a total birthday princess I count down to it, I look forward to it and keep telling people it is my birthday on my birthday (actually told a lady in the store that it was me and my twins birthday when I bought her gift on our birthday) but I love everyones birthday I love spoiling my friends and I love giving people attention on their day cause let’s face it you survived a whole year and that should be considered an accomplishment in itself so have lots of fun for whatever life have planned for your 24th year!!

  • Happy birthday to you! Hope you are having an awesome day and you look very pretty by the way!

  • You’ve accomplished an amazing amount for a 24 year old! Happy Birthday lovely. <3 xoxo

  • You are the sweetest thing! I also LOVE birthdays! & I’m 22 – and have been so blessed to kick start my career- and like you, even though there are so many places I want to see and adventures to be done – I’m already thinking long term about rooting down & having a family. Being a girl is tough – and being a girl who loves her career as much as she loves the thought of being a momma is tough, too. I’d love for you to write more about this topic! Have you read Lean In?

    Warm regards,
    Alexandra
    http://www.littlewildheart.com

  • […] weekend to-do, I knew exactly where I was headed. I had a little bit of money to spend thanks to my Birthday earlier this week, and an afternoon picking through buckets full of flowers sounded like the […]

  • […] to-do, I knew exactly where I was headed. I had a little bit of money to spend thanks to my birthday earlier this week, and an afternoon picking through buckets full of flowers sounded like the […]

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