Dear Diary

We Don’t Expire

SKii header

It’s impossible not to feel it with each passing year – the pressure. Yes, things move slower than they did in my parents and grandparent’s generation, with more focus on career and less on family life, especially here in the city, but the nagging anxiety is always still there.

I don’t often open about my dating life here, because in all honesty I feel so far behind my peers that it can be difficult to continue sharing heartbreak and Tinder date horror stories as the clock ticks on. For the most part, the blogging world is a place for ultra-cute couples, for engagements, weddings and baby showers. I feel proud to be a young, strong, single business owner (yes, I’m single again), but the tick tock sound gets louder and louder, threatening to overcome the roars of success and growth in my mind. As much as single life is glorified in the media, pop songs and beyond, I’m the first to admit being single is HARD, especially as I pass over the threshold from mid-twenties to the dreaded “late” spectrum.

A little mini tour of me, pre and post Instagram

Screen Shot 2017-06-29 at 12.52.38 PM

Screen Shot 2017-06-29 at 12.56.21 PM

Screen Shot 2017-06-29 at 1.19.01 PM

Screen Shot 2017-06-29 at 1.14.47 PM

Screen Shot 2017-06-29 at 12.53.19 PM

SKII Skicare just released a short film dealing with this very subject, and to say it hit home is an understatement. Originally intended for the Pan-Asian market, where pressure on women is perhaps even more predominant, it’s a global message that reaches all of us. The idea that women are undesirable after a certain age, or “expire” is a fear I’ve seen echoed in my friends, my sister, my mother and so far beyond. Between our biological clock and the battle against wrinkles and grey hair, it’s easy to get lost in expectations and forget to enjoy our reality.

I don’t know if I’ve ever really said this here before, but here goes: I love my life, but more than anything I want a partner, a wedding and above all, a family of my own. Each social post showcasing yet another happy couple with a sparkling ring or an adorable baby bump stings in its own little way, and for the first time EVER I’m hoping my birthday this Summer will slip by unnoticed, instead of my usual week-long celebration. I’m hitting the age that my mom already had both my sister and I, owned a home and was married to her soul mate. It’s easy to slip into the dark hole of thinking I’m running out of time, that my most beautiful sparkling days are behind me – but that’s no way to live.

As the short strives to communicate, we as women don’t expire – we get to decide our futures, and our value is based on so much more than being wanted by someone else. I recently saw a tarot reader who told me I need to stop trying to be so strong, to stop fighting, and just be here in this moment instead of throwing everything I have at building a future. I’m not a big believer in mystical prophecies, but ever since that night I’ve been trying to slow down, to enjoy everything I’ve built instead of trying to force what I want. After all, you can’t control everyone, but you can change your own destiny.

Header image by Jen Peters for DesignLoveFest

This post was sponsored, but all opinions are my own. To inquire about sponsored posts, please emailΒ jess@shineinfluencers.com

2 comments

  • I’ve been feeling the pressure of this for a while now. So thank you for writing a post that resonated with me so much. Wishing you all the best!! xx

  • Just wandered in from searching for more Tasselfairy-LOVE HER! Just wanted to say, I started early, and have the family and the house stuff, and never had a career. I had jobs. Now, I am damn near forty, and hearing the tick-tock of the “Are you going to do something? Anything?” career biological clock. There is just SO much pressure to conform for women, isn’t there? You are BEAUTIFUL, and I will be back to read more. Nice to meet you!

Join the discussion

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *