For many years, Mother’s Day was a holiday that made me feel left out, a reminder of everything I wanted and couldn’t attain (take this as a reminder to reach out to friends who are yearning for a child, struggling with infertility, or who have recently lost their moms on May 9th!)
Now that I do have a daughter of my own, I believe more than ever that it’s important to shower the moms and mom-type-figures in our lives with a little bit of extra love one day a year – this job is TOUGH, unpaid, and so often thankless. I’m also a big supporter of any excuse to eat extra special food, and spend time with family, and give gifts!
Gifting is my love language, and though I’ve been slacking on blog gift guides since becoming a mom, I truly love putting them together. This gift guide features so many of my favourite products, and most of them are from Canadian small businesses too! But first…
Pre-done gift sets to consider //
With all the shipping delays and added stress this year, a curated gift set could be the way to go! Four different versions caught my attenton:
I’ve had a love affair with The Cross for so many years, and it’s no surprise their Mother’s Day gift boxes this year check all the boxes for all different kinds of moms. They were kind enough to send me the “Cooking Mom Box“, a sweet little set that includes a ceramic berry bowl, tea towel and beautiful bottle of hand soap. There are four options created to fit any budget and spoil any mom on your list!
This Canadian company puts together gorgeous into a seasonal box that’s delivered to you! You can sign up for a whole year, or purchase an individual box to keep or gift to someone else. They were kind enough to send me their spring box and it would make such a perfect surprise delivered to your favourite mama’s door.
This awesome box from mental-health focused Toronto store Crying out Loud is the perfect way to remind the moms in your life to take a moment for themselves! Plus a portion of the proceeds will be donated to Mamas for Mamas to support moms and caregivers in need! Find all three options here.
This set is available all year round, but it’s such a good one for expecting parents and pregnant people! They also do an amazing Postpartum Recovery Bundle that’s a must-have for new moms.
I’ve been wishing I had this piece published on the blog for over two years now, so it’s about time I’ve finally done it! One of the best parts of sharing my story so publicly has been the ongoing messages I still receive from others who are considering becoming single parents by choice too. It feels like every other day I’m connecting with new people who have just stumbled across my account and are either seeking advice, or hoping to delve deeper into the details of my story. With every new DM or email I kick myself for not yet having created a resource with all of the information I’ve put out into the world about my experience in one convenient place. So here it is. You’re welcome future Alyssa!
Now aside from wanting to put all of the links related to my story in an updated roundup post, it also felt like a good opportunity to do a little update and circle back to some of my opinions from early on that have shifted over the past two years and nine months (give or take). Like everyone loves to remind expecting parents, there’s no way to know how much having a baby changes everything, and that rule definitely applies to single parents by choice too! Here’s a bit on what I’ve learned, and a touch of advice for those who’d like to take it too.
It’s ok to have boundaries //
When I first started trying to get pregnant, I was so eager to share my story. I felt so empowered and proud of myself for taking my dreams into my own hands, and I assumed my “why” would really resonate with people who had similar dreams. What I didn’t expect was the focus on the “how” that came hand in hand with sharing my news, and as my story picked up steam, the questions only got more personal. Truth be told I was caught totally off guard, like I was being asked to validate my story by proving that I went about getting pregnant the “right” way. When I was open about using a known donor instead of a clinic, the scrutiny only intensified.
Let me be clear – there is no correct way to become a single mom by choice! Whether you purchase sperm and go through a clinic to be inseminated, DIY getting a known donor’s semen into your body with something you read about on the internet (oh hey menstrual cup), or have wildly enjoyable sex with your (consenting!!!) next door neighbour, you are just as much a SMBC as anyone else who made the choice to dive into parenthood without a partner. I recently had a follower ask via DM’s if Summer was actually even planned because I got pregnant outside of a clinical setting, and though I was a bit offended, it solidified the judgement I’d felt in the passive remarks and endless questions I’ve received since announcing my “non-traditional” pregnancy.
In retrospect, I wish I’d kept the door shut when it came to that part of my journey – it felt private and too sacred to share, but I panicked and answered the questions in the moment as best as I could for fear if I didn’t, those asking would assume I was covering up an accident. No one asks heterosexual couples exactly how they got pregnant – imagine asking someone if they needed clinical help conceiving with their husband? Or what position they were in the moment they conceived? You wouldn’t, because it’s private! Just because the way you got pregnant isn’t “the norm”, or wasn’t necessarily with someone you romantically love, doesn’t mean you owe anyone an explanation! Especially because sharing details when a known donor is involved could jeopardize anonymity. When I get similar questions about DIY insemination now I advise doing your own research online, speaking to your doctor, and following one golden rule: whatever way you feel most comfortable getting semen into your body will probably work just fine!
*not totally related but I recently came across this cute new syringe product specifically created for at-home inseminations and I love that a brand is making that route more accessible / acceptable!
You can prepare, but you won’t ever be fully prepared //
This point applies to ALL parents, not just the SMBC / SPBC folks. I did everything I could think of to prep for having a baby, and for the first few months, it worked. Aside from my unexpected c-section, life with a newborn was blissful – I could work whenever I wanted, she slept very well from day one thanks to the , I was free to go pretty much anywhere I wanted with her strapped into a carrier on my body, she napped on the go when necessary and breastfed on demand.
But once she started moving, so many of my plans went out the window – a lot of the support systems I had carefully put in place fell through and I hadn’t really made arrangements for daycare or a nanny because I didn’t think I’d need it as someone who works from home and has such a flexible job. The reality is, being a mom is a full time job. Period. Even with a career path I had specifically chased because it was so well suited to being a solo mom while still making a living, I learned the hard way how truly impossible it is to work full time and mother full time without some form of childcare in place. I would call this my biggest blind spot when it came to planning for single parenthood, and I’m still struggling to find a balance that works for us (suggestions welcome – I’ve been on a waitlist for the only affordable daycare I could find over a year and there’s still no availability in sight!)
There’s no such thing as “too soon to tell” //
So much about my journey to motherhood was not traditional, but I did stick to the old “wait until you’re out of the first trimester” to share my pregnancy news, and looking back I wish I’d had the bravery to break that taboo. First off, I think it does birthing people a huge disservice to encourage the isolating practice of keeping a pregnancy secret, when that person is likely to need support and understanding, especially in the case the pregnancy doesn’t make it to term. In other words, we don’t expect parents to stay quiet about miscarriages anymore, so why is it still the norm to keep pregnancies a secret “just in case”?
Building on this point, I also wish I’d had the courage to share how much I wanted children before I started trying. As someone who hasn’t had many long term relationships and spent a lot of her time single, I often felt like my desire to be a mom was misplaced because it’s frowned upon to be open about parenting dreams when you’re single, especially in the hetero world. In an effort to avoid being labelled “baby crazy” and turning off potential partners, I mostly kept quiet about how much I wanted to be a mom, and looking back I regret keeping my goals to myself until they were well underway. I say, let’s normalize people, especially young single women, being open about wanting kids without it being attached to the word “crazy” or becoming a deterrent. If it’s acceptable for women to be anything they want, motherhood shouldn’t be an exception to the rule. It should be just as celebrated to talk openly about wanting to be a mom as it is to talk openly about wanting to run your own business, or be a basketball player, or whatever you care deeply about doing!
Acknowledging my Privilege //
I’m constantly learning, and over the past couple of years I’ve re-examined the way I originally discussed my path to parenthood. When it comes to this conversation it’s important to acknowledge that not everyone is able to make this decision, and that I was able to make it for myself from a place of privilege. Yes I worked hard to get here, yes I built my career on my own and saved up to be able to support myself, but that doesn’t mean being white, cisgender, and non-disabled didn’t impact my ability to make this decision in the first place, and that should always have been a part of the dialogue.
Ready for more? Scroll down for every link related to my story that I could find…
Over the years I’ve written about going more and more natural with my beauty routine, but I think it’s safe to say almost all of us have those few “dirty” products that we have loved for most of our lifetime and can’t quite bear to give up.
My move to Vancouver prompted so much change and improvement in my life, providing a push to drop bad habits and move forward with a clean slate. Before my boxes had even arrived at the new apartment I had started to mentally detox my world, and that included rethinking the toxic products I hadn’t yet let go of and swapping them out for healthier, more eco-friendly alternatives.
I had a lot of fun shooting and styling all of my new favourite natural products, and I’m happy to share them alongside little reviews of why they work best for me!
I tried a couple years ago and absolutely loved it, so I was delighted to find they’ve released 3 more new flavours since! This brand works so well, has a beautiful design, and the “key” that comes with each tube really ensures every last drop gets used up. After a lot of brushing and careful comparison I decided the Spearmint is my top pick – it’s a perfect sweeter mint that really makes my teeth feel clean. Charcoal is my lowest rated only because I found the darker paste colour really messy in/around the bathroom sinks.
I have tried SO many natural deodorants since realizing just how toxic the typical drugstore brands can be, but no brand has ever blown me away quite like Nala Care. A Canadian company created by a mother/daughter duo right here in Vancouver, this deodorant actually stands up to the mom sweat (who knew being a mom made you SO sweaty all the time?) They’ve just launched two limited edition holiday scents, Winter Mint and Winter Spice (spice is my favourite!) which both use Copaiba oil, a cannabinoid like CBD that can apparently evoke feelings of calm just from smelling the deodorant? SO cool! Use code PASTEL20 for 20% off your cart through the end of December.
I’m a big fan of Detox Mode and I was really excited to try their take on a natural deodorant. They make two formulations, “Feeling Altogether” which is the classic, and “Feeling Free” which is baking soda-free and created specifically for sensitive skin. I loved how both versions smell, but unfortunately the classic irritated my skin – the baking soda was too much for me, but I passed it on to my parents and they both swear by it! I ended up using the Feeling Free daily until there was nothing left – the lavender scent was just right, and it worked fairly well to keep my mom sweat at bay, though some days I did need to reapply.
This. Mascara. Is. Life. Changing. In case it isn’t already clear, I have really sensitive skin, but I also find myself sensitive to beauty products, especially around my eyes. I love big dramatic lashes, but with COVID and single mom life I haven’t done extensions in ages, and instead I’ve been on the hunt for a mascara that has the same effect. There have been a few drugstore brands that worked, but my eyes were always so itchy and irritated that nothing was left on my lashes by the end of the day, and I’d be counting down the seconds till I could get the remaining crumbs off.
If you’re looking for a 100% natural product with big impact, this is the one! It’s flake-free, non-irritating, loaded with lots of nutrients that help “feed” your lashes, and the dual-sided brush gives dramatic results every time. The only catch – they do use beeswax, so the product isn’t vegan.
I was *very* hesitant to give up my beloved Stila long-lasting liquid eyeliner pen, a product I’ve been devoted to for years. I have really oily eyelids, and as I mentioned, sensitive eyes, so once I found something that worked for me I didn’t want to give it up.
Luckily this natural formula is the perfect replacement. Not only does it go on easily (I love the brush!) but it really stays – it lasted through a cry test AND stayed relatively in place even after a night of sleep!
Simple and easy to use, this brow gel creates big impact with minimal effort and has quickly become one of my makeup bag must-haves! I went with Medium Brown but for the summertime I’d definitely switch to Blonde for a less intense look.
This mascara is a lot more lightweight and stays put really well, plus it’s 100% vegan. If you’re looking for a more natural day-to-day look, this softer mascara is a great option.
Toronto-brand Evio creates all natural beauty products infused with hemp seed oil at a great low price point. While this product makes my lashes look noticeably thicker, feels nice and light, doesn’t irritate my eyes, and even stood up to a cry test without getting too messy. My one complaint is how sticky it stays on the lashes for quite some time – it’s definitely slow to dry which isn’t ideal for someone who moves as quickly as I do!
I love this liquid liner – it’s super dark with great solid lines on the first application, but I had a hard time getting a handle on using the pen tip, and I did find it smudged a tiny bit easier than the Beauty Counter formula.
I LOVE this soap. My boyfriend LOVES this soap. Summer LOVES this soap. I may need to order the massive 128oz refill jug because we all LOVE this soap so much! The uplifting scent of sweet almond, bergamot, and cedar wood is the perfect addition to coveted time in the shower, and the consistency is the ideal marriage of oily/moisturizing and soapy/cleansing. Best of all, the glass bottle is recyclable if you don’t choose to refill (but I can almost guarantee you will!)
This niche product probably deserves a category of it’s own because it’s for a specific area (the area between your legs), but since I use it daily in the shower I’m including it here alongside the Impossible Soap. I’ve been interested in trying a soap specifically for intimate areas for ages because I’m so sensitive in that zone and very prone to irritation and infections, and I wish I’d made the switch sooner. No itching or burning, this gentle soap includes aloe and cucumber, and makes me feel super clean. There’s no scientific evidence, but I genuinely believe it’s made a big impact in helping to prevent yeast infections, something I’ve struggled with for years. Thank you Lady Suite!
I’ve also got their on my radar to use post-shave – has anyone tried it?
Let me first be transparent and say I’m instantly sold on anything that involves Earl Grey. Brewing a cup of tea is one of my daily calming rituals, and infusing my post-shower moisturizing routine with the sweet scent of black tea and bergamot made it feel like a whole new ritual too. With Aloe, Jojoba, Shea Butter and Tamarind Seed, this body lotion is a truly luxurious experience that’s much needed these cold winter months.
I’m a long-time fan of Province Apothecary and everything they do – I had my first facial with Julie over 6 years ago and I’ve been hooked on her beautiful natural brand since. Their makeup remover oil cleanser is one of my daily must-haves and the only thing I can use on my eyes without irritating them. I use it with my , which I also highly recommend incorporating to help reduce your eco impact.
I love Beauty Counter’s Counterstart Cococream Cleanser as a backup cleanser to have in the shower, but it isn’t ideal for eye makeup removal, and I prefer to use a product that does both at the same time when I can!
These day and night serums are incredible in every way, and handmade in Ontario by the coolest lady duo! I especially love the night formula for bedtime – I swear I wake up with clearer, softer skin every morning!
This moisturizer absolutely lives up to its name – it’s SO smooth and creamy, and literally does melt into your skin. It’s also an amazing base for makeup!
I honestly didn’t even think about the amount of waste a traditional razor creates until I started seeing beautifully crafted safety razors pop up on my Instagram feed. The Well Kept razor is definitely an investment, but it’s plastic-free and the replacement blades cost less than a dollar ($15 for 20!) which makes it totally worth it in my opinion. Plus, they’re a women-owned small business based right here in Vancouver, and their entire collection is seriously gorgeous! I was definitely a bit nervous to make the switch, but Well Kept advises reframing shaving as a slow, mindful act of self care, and not only did my razor give me the closest, smoothest shave I’ve even had, but I really appreciated the change of pace in my routine. They also sell beautiful bath milks, agave exfoliating cloths (a great alternative to plastic loofas), natural sea sponges and more!
Period
I’ve already shared in great detail how great Hannahpads have been – especially since my period came back postpartum! Such a great eco-friendly solution for overnights. I also upgraded my menstrual cup post-baby to the Saalt cup, and I’ve been absolutely loving it in comparison to the other cups I’ve tried. Most importantly, this one locks in place and opens properly much easier than other brands! I am interested in trying their soft cup at some point to test if it’s even more comfortable than the original, and their cute period panties are on my wishlist too.
The season for sunscreen may have mostly come to an end but I couldn’t leave out my absolute favourite sunscreen find of 2020. Countersun is the ultimate natural sunscreen – it rubs in easily with no white residue, it smells great, it’s water resistant for up to 40 minutes, and it’s safe for the whole family so you don’t have to pack separate sunscreen if you have kids! I like the spray best for quick and easy toddler application, but there’s also a stick (great for faces) and a traditional lotion.
Again, not exactly the season for this product, but we loved Cardea Auset’s chemical-free bug repellant spray so much this past summer that I had to include it. Created with essential oils, this spray leaves a somewhat pleasant scent, and it really worked in the BC wilderness!
Let me know your favourites in the comments below!
After a strange and exhausting year, most of us are ready to throw in the towel and kick our feet up – but staying home to recharge doesn’t have to mean missing out on the most wonderful time of the year. Instead of getting swept up in the holiday hustle and bustle, I’m focusing on two things: Get cozy, and gift cozy.
Since moving to BC back in March, I’ve learned a lot about getting back to my West Coaster roots, and a big part of that has been rediscovering my love for lululemon! Growing up when the brand first launched, everyone I knew grew up in lululemon leggings because they were comfortable, well made, and designed right here in Vancouver! Turns out while I was away in Toronto growing up, lululemon was growing too, and their stores are now stocked with everything from soft knitwear and luxe sweatpants to velvet tank tops and cute makeup bags (and of course, they still make the best leggings in the business). I have basically lived in lululemon since moving back, so when I started making my Christmas list for the ones I love in BC and beyond, it only made sense to start at my favourite store!
With free shipping and returns on every order, extended gift return options, curbside pickup, and free video chat shopping assistants available to answer any questions you might have about fits and fabrics, lululemon has made it easier than ever to stay home, stay safe, and still get your shopping done. Need to stock up on stuffing stuffers? Shop small gifts here! Can’t spend too much? There are plenty of options under $100 here! Need some inspiration? Just scroll down!
If there’s one thing I love to do, it’s curating gifts for the people I love – I’m not ashamed to admit I’m the person who keeps a gift idea list for all their friends and family year-round! Instead of doing a gendered guide or splitting my picks into personality types, I’ve put together my tried and true favourite items, plus some top picks for my loved ones here in Vancouver (essentially, my Christmas list meets theirs!)
As someone who prides herself on setting up and shooting a home reveal in record time, I’ll be the first to admit this one was a very slow burner. In the past I’ve rushed to set up a home and take photos before its been really lived in, usually with the help of a professional photographer who can capture the dreamy details in every room, even the ones with tricky lighting. This time around an abrupt move to the other side of the country where I have no photographer pals made me feel hesitant to reveal at all – did I want to share my home when it couldn’t be “perfect”?
The thing is, living alone with a toddler and two pets in a small space isn’t always picture perfect, tidy and styled. This condo is no #HeavenInHighPark, but it’s what works for us right now. No stairs, less square footage and a modern open-concept layout means I can easily keep tabs on Summer, and though it was a battle between my head and heart when apartment shopping, the practicality of something clean and safe beat out my love of older homes that need lots of work (this time around).
With space so much more limited than our last home in Toronto, there was much less in the way of big renovations and much more in the way of meticulous organization in every bit of space. Originally I was planning to wait to shoot and share my reveal until every closet and drawer was a work of organizational art, but I’m not convinced that will ever happen, so here we are!
There were a lot of challenges when it came to setting up this space – because it doesn’t have much room to grow, I knew it would likely be fairly temporary, so I didn’t want to pour myself into big projects or upgrades like I’ve done in the past. I also gained a lot of fresh perspective about “stuff” from living in Vancouver during lockdown with none of my creature comforts. Yes, it was incredibly difficult, but it was also a great lesson on what really matters to us vs. what was just clutter in our closets in Toronto. I made a lot of small practical changes, like swapping out my beloved pink fabric sectional for a faux leather couch that’s much more child-mess friendly, and re-purposing our little CB2 outdoor bistro set as a mini kitchen table instead of spending a bunch on fancy bar stools or an official dining table (let’s be real, we eat sitting on the couch 99% of the time anyway!)
With all of the uncertainty this past year has brought, I’ve learned a lot about finding the beauty in imperfection, and this tour is no different. I don’t know if this space will ever truly feel “done” to me because I don’t plan to stay long-term, but that doesn’t mean it’s not worth celebrating the beautiful bits. I was so concerned I couldn’t make a condo feel cozy and colourful, but I’m proud of the way the space came together and how quickly it felt “lived in”. Though you may not be able to see all of the pet hair and cheerio crumbs in these edited shots, I can absolutely assure you this apartment is, more often than not, a bright, beautiful, imperfect mess.
Watch the full video tour on my feed here! Scroll down for still images room by room, and shopping links at the very bottom.
I tried to break down the major items in each room or provide links to similar items for one of a kind / older pieces! If I have missed anything leave me a comment here or send me a DM on Instagram.
