When I mention my unique journey to motherhood, I’m almost always met with assumptions. Specifically assumptions about how I got pregnant in the first place. So today, on Mother’s Day, I’ve teamed up with Mosie Baby to share more details about at-home insemination, and how the Mosie Kit could help you conceive on your own terms!
When people hear a woman purposefully chose to have a baby on her own, they picture Jennifer Lopez in The Backup Plan, Leslie Mann’s character in How to Be Single or even Jane from Jane the Virgin (though obviously, in her case, the insemination wasn’t intentional). All of these pregnancy journeys started out and came to fruition in a fertility clinic, with a patient waiting on a table, legs spread and ready for semen delivered via someone in a lab coat.
Even when I knew Single Motherhood by Choice was the path I wanted to pursue, I knew the process I’d seen depicted in the media was not the path for me.
When I pictured getting pregnant, even if it wasn’t the “traditional way”, I pictured being at home, comfortable and relaxed, with candles and crystals and music and all of my favourite things surrounding me. My vision was much more Jennifer Anniston in The Switch than J-lo or Jane. I think because the majority of my more serious, long-term relationships have been with trans* people, queer folks, or other women, I had already put a lot of thought into how I’d like to conceive if “the old fashioned way” wasn’t an option. Back then I pictured a turkey baster might be my instrument of choice, but later I’d read about hopeful parents using everything from various plastic medical syringes, to menstrual cups (which as you may know, is what I ended up trying!) There was nothing on the market really specifically aimed at home insemination (for couples who are TTC, same-sex couples, or single parents by choice) until Mosie Baby came along!
Mosie Baby was created by a couple who were trying to conceive for over two years; two years of invasive tests and costly procedures, that all added up to more unknowns and no results. Before their first IUI appointment (for those who are unfamiliar, IUI is a medical procedure where semen is injected directly into the uterus to optimize chances of a successful pregnancy) they decided to go rogue and inseminate with a syringe together at home. As Maureen (the co-founder) says on their site, “It was obvious that traditional syringes weren’t made for the vagina”, so this crafty couple created the first Mosie Syringe, and soon after created the first Mosie baby, their son!
Though I didn’t personally use Mosie when I was TTC, I couldn’t love this brand and everything they stand for more. Their kits are delivered in subtle, nondescript packaging for privacy, and the designs inside are colourful and inviting. A clinical study has found Mosie “as effective as IUI and timed intercourse” (source here), but the cost is a fraction of what you might pay for a clinical IUI, and it’s totally safe to try from the comfort of your own home. They have truly thought of everything, including super accurate pregnancy tests and ovulation tests to help with tracking and timing – so if you’re a single mom by choice like me, you just need to source your sperm! (If you don’t have someone in your life who is willing to donate, you can always checkout a site like coparents.com)
Most of all, I love that Mosie is providing an accessible alternative for so many couples and single people who are trying to conceive, and challenging the assumptions and taboos surrounding at-home insemination along the way. I’ve received so many messages asking how costly buying donor sperm was and what the selection was like, what clinic I used, and how I navigated the system on my own – the assumption is almost always that I spent an arm and a leg to get pregnant in a medical setting, and when I clarify that was not the case, I often feel judged or like my story is somehow less legitimate. One person even asked outright if my pregnancy was actually just an accident! Though using a fertility clinic and paying for testing, drugs and procedures is the only option for many people who are TTC, it doesn’t need to be the first plan of action in so many cases, including mine. Mosie Baby not only makes the path I chose more legitimate, it normalizes looking outside the doctor’s office for fertility solutions, with a healthy dose of cheerful positive branding in a realm that can so often feel hopeless.
A few of the reasons home insemination felt right for me //
I wanted to avoid medical intervention /
I haven’t opened up too much about this in all the years I’ve been writing this blog, perhaps because it feels too vulnerable, but I struggle with childhood medical trauma. Growing up I had chronic UTI infections and spent a lot of time undergoing really invasive tests, checks and procedures. I am extremely anxious in any medical situation, especially anything that involves me laying on a table and opening my legs for a doctor, so avoiding that route when it came to making a baby was a big priority.
I wanted to have a relationship with my donor /
Many folks choose to purchase donor sperm because they want as little attachment as possible, but personally I wanted to know my donor and have a relationship with him in real life. When I think ahead to Summer growing up and asking questions about the other person that provided the “missing ingredient” to bring her into the world, I don’t want the donor to be a mystery or someone unreachable.
I wanted the process to feel as natural as possible /
Obviously getting pregnant without a partner automatically made my journey to motherhood somewhat abnormal, but I still wanted the moment sperm met egg to feel intimate and special. At-home insemination where I felt safe and in control was an amazing way to make conception comfortable – I just wish I’d known about Mosie Baby!
A few reasons you might want to try Mosie Baby //
You haven’t had any luck getting pregnant with intercourse
You are in a same sex relationship or have a trans* partner
You are on the path to becoming a Single Mom by Choice
You want to avoid costly fertility clinic bills and invasive procedures if possible
The list goes on and on! If you’re interested in trying out Mosie Baby, or know someone who might, click here to order.
This post was a part of a paid campaign with Mosie Baby, but all opinions are authentic and my own. I am not a medical doctor, and my personal story and opinions should not be taken as medical advice. Please contact your doctor if you have questions about fertility.