A Pastel Baby

I started off planning to do monthly updates with all of our favourite things, milestones and more, a sort of digital baby book filled with cute candid photos and memories, but here we are at 6 months and all of those drafts never quite made it into existence. I kept thinking to myself “well at least I have so much time to get my act together for a big six month update”, and well, all the sudden, here we are.

My “monthly update” plan may not have come to fruition, but I still wanted to honour this big day with an overall update about life with baby, and some of our most-used items month-by-month (plus a couple of things I never actually used!)

It’s hard to put these precious, challenging, beautiful past six months into words. I can so clearly remember announcing my pregnancy around this time last year and daydreaming how my winter baby and I would spend our first summer together, and now I’ve blinked and we’re almost halfway through these golden dipped warm days. I get asked so often if motherhood is everything I thought it would be when I started out on this crazy adventure and honestly, it’s everything I ever wanted and so much more. Summer is a truly unicorn baby, and has been nothing but a delight since day one – she’s so chill and calm, her glittering energy is infectious to everyone she meets. Seriously, I don’t know that I’ve ever met a baby that’s just so totally… happy. She sleeps well, eats well, has yet to have been sick (knock on wood), and smiles LITERALLY nonstop. There isn’t a second that passes where I don’t thank my lucky stars that she’s mine.

In a lot of ways motherhood has been much easier than I expected, because I truly prepared myself for the worst. Being Summer’s mom comes super naturally to me, and it’s almost like all of the anxious, extra energy that was making me bored/destructive/depressed in my early years has finally found an outlet in caring for her. I had all of this love and nurturing in me for so long and nowhere to put it!

That said these past six months definitely haven’t been a cake walk – my motherhood challenges have taken different shapes that I had never really anticipated. While I have never felt any anxiety about taking care of Summer, I’ve definitely struggled with taking care of me.

For all of the planning I did to make my dream come true, I definitely overlooked how hard it would be to work full time AND take care of a baby on my own. I assumed because I work from home, I’d have plenty of time to work while being around for my baby. Unfortunately between breastfeeding, nap schedules and playtime, there’s a SHOCKINGLY small amount of time left in a day, and when that rare time does appear, all I want to do is glaze over with a fun TV show or nap myself. There is SO LITTLE LEFT TO GIVE. The weirdest part? When you do collapse into bed, you’re not even sure what it was you were doing all of those hours. Not having a second income to rely on so I could take some time to just be Summer’s mom has really been the biggest hurdle for me as a single parent, single income household. If I could do things over again I’d definitely try to find a way to give myself a proper mat leave.

I’ve also experienced a very unexpected identity crisis. I have always been so 100% confident and sure of myself, but having a baby and handing my life over to this tiny human in so many ways shook me to my very foundation. It’s hard to keep tabs on who you are (other than “mom”) when you’re thinking about someone else 24/7, with absolutely no time to workout, or get dressed up and go out with friends… even just sit and read a book without one eye on a bassinet across the room. Being a mother is truly all-consuming and it has a way of making you second guess your priorities, your values, and what kind of human you really want to be. As I mentioned on Instagram I’m trying to do a thing or two just for me, without Summer, every week, even if it’s just a 45 minute workout while a friend strolls her around the block. Taking these little moments for myself has really helped me feel like a stronger, better mama for her, and hopefully set the example that though it’s important to take care of others, it’s also important to practice self care too! I’m still learning, but aren’t we all?

Scroll down for a few of our favourite things, month by month!

Month 1 //

Must haves: Kyte Baby Sleepers,Askr Embla Pod, Owlet cam and smart sock

Month 2 //

Must haves: BIBS PacifierHappiest Baby SNOOSolly Baby Wrap

Month 3 //

Must haves: Bugaboo Fox Stroller, Nested Bean Baby Zen Sleep Sack , Sakura Bloom Scout Carrier

Month 4 //

Must haves: Playtex Nurser bottles with collapsible liners, Skip Hop Play Centre, Waterbaby Neck Floatie´╗┐

Month 5 //

Must haves: Soundbub White Noise Machine, Lou Lou lollipop pacifier clips, Naturebond fruit feeder

Month 6 //

Must haves: Baeba Baby Cook, Stokke High Chair with baby seat, Baeba Silicone Feeding Set

Things we still haven’t used: Frida Baby Snotsucker (she hasn’t been sick yet!), ring sling (I can’t figure out how to use these and not feel like she’s falling out), car seat cover (I want to see her!), fancy bottles (she has no interest in anything other than the Playtex ones listed above)