A Pastel Baby

When I mention my unique journey to motherhood, I’m almost always met with assumptions. Specifically assumptions about how I got pregnant in the first place. So today, on Mother’s Day, I’ve teamed up with Mosie Baby to share more details about at-home insemination, and how the Mosie Kit could help you conceive on your own terms! 

When people hear a woman purposefully chose to have a baby on her own, they picture Jennifer Lopez in The Backup Plan, Leslie Mann’s character in How to Be Single or even Jane from Jane the Virgin (though obviously, in her case, the insemination wasn’t intentional). All of these pregnancy journeys started out and came to fruition in a fertility clinic, with a patient waiting on a table, legs spread and ready for semen delivered via someone in a lab coat. 

Even when I knew Single Motherhood by Choice was the path I wanted to pursue, I knew the process I’d seen depicted in the media was not the path for me. 

When I pictured getting pregnant, even if it wasn’t the “traditional way”, I pictured being at home, comfortable and relaxed, with candles and crystals and music and all of my favourite things surrounding me. My vision was much more Jennifer Anniston in The Switch than J-lo or Jane. I think because the majority of my more serious, long-term relationships have been with trans* people, queer folks, or other women, I had already put a lot of thought into how I’d like to conceive if “the old fashioned way” wasn’t an option.  Back then I pictured a turkey baster might be my instrument of choice, but later I’d read about hopeful parents using everything from various plastic medical syringes, to menstrual cups (which as you may know, is what I ended up trying!)  There was nothing on the market really specifically aimed at home insemination (for couples who are TTC, same-sex couples, or single parents by choice) until Mosie Baby came along! 


Mosie Baby was created by a couple who were trying to conceive for over two years; two years of invasive tests and costly procedures, that all added up to more unknowns and no results. Before their first IUI appointment (for those who are unfamiliar, IUI is a medical procedure where semen is injected directly into the uterus to optimize chances of a successful pregnancy) they decided to go rogue and inseminate with a syringe together at home. As Maureen (the co-founder) says on their site, “It was obvious that traditional syringes weren’t made for the vagina”, so this crafty couple created the first Mosie Syringe, and soon after created the first Mosie baby, their son! 

Though I didn’t personally use Mosie when I was TTC, I couldn’t love this brand and everything they stand for more. Their kits are delivered in subtle, nondescript packaging for privacy, and the designs inside are colourful and inviting. A clinical study has found Mosie “as effective as IUI and timed intercourse” (source here), but the cost is a fraction of what you might pay for a clinical IUI, and it’s totally safe to try from the comfort of your own home. They have truly thought of everything, including super accurate pregnancy tests and ovulation tests to help with tracking and timing – so if you’re a single mom by choice like me, you just need to source your sperm! (If you don’t have someone in your life who is willing to donate, you can always checkout a site like coparents.com)

Most of all, I love that Mosie is providing an accessible alternative for so many couples and single people who are trying to conceive, and challenging the assumptions and taboos surrounding at-home insemination along the way. I’ve received so many messages asking how costly buying donor sperm was and what the selection was like, what clinic I used, and how I navigated the system on my own – the assumption is almost always that I spent an arm and a leg to get pregnant in a medical setting, and when I clarify that was not the case, I often feel judged or like my story is somehow less legitimate. One person even asked outright if my pregnancy was actually just an accident! Though using a fertility clinic and paying for testing, drugs and procedures is the only option for many people who are TTC, it doesn’t need to be the first plan of action in so many cases, including mine. Mosie Baby not only makes the path I chose more legitimate, it normalizes looking outside the doctor’s office for fertility solutions, with a healthy dose of cheerful positive branding in a realm that can so often feel hopeless.

A few of the reasons home insemination felt right for me //

I wanted to avoid medical intervention /

I haven’t opened up too much about this in all the years I’ve been writing this blog, perhaps because it feels too vulnerable, but I struggle with childhood medical trauma. Growing up I had chronic UTI infections and spent a lot of time undergoing really invasive tests, checks and procedures. I am extremely anxious in any medical situation, especially anything that involves me laying on a table and opening my legs for a doctor, so avoiding that route when it came to making a baby was a big priority. 

I wanted to have a relationship with my donor /

Many folks choose to purchase donor sperm because they want as little attachment as possible, but personally I wanted to know my donor and have a relationship with him in real life. When I think ahead to Summer growing up and asking questions about the other person that provided the “missing ingredient” to bring her into the world, I don’t want the donor to be a mystery or someone unreachable. 

I wanted the process to feel as natural as possible /

Obviously getting pregnant without a partner automatically made my journey to motherhood somewhat abnormal, but I still wanted the moment sperm met egg to feel intimate and special. At-home insemination where I felt safe and in control was an amazing way to make conception comfortable – I just wish I’d known about Mosie Baby!

A few reasons you might want to try Mosie Baby //

You haven’t had any luck getting pregnant with intercourse 

You are in a same sex relationship or have a trans* partner

You are on the path to becoming a Single Mom by Choice 

You want to avoid costly fertility clinic bills and invasive procedures if possible

The list goes on and on! If you’re interested in trying out Mosie Baby, or know someone who might, click here to order.

Cute dress is this one from !  

This post was a part of a paid campaign with Mosie Baby, but all opinions are authentic and my own. I am not a medical doctor, and my personal story and opinions should not be taken as medical advice. Please contact your doctor if you have questions about fertility.

A Pastel BabyDear Diary

I’ve been wishing I had this piece published on the blog for over two years now, so it’s about time I’ve finally done it! One of the best parts of sharing my story so publicly has been the ongoing messages I still receive from others who are considering becoming single parents by choice too. It feels like every other day I’m connecting with new people who have just stumbled across my account and are either seeking advice, or hoping to delve deeper into the details of my story. With every new DM or email I kick myself for not yet having created a resource with all of the information I’ve put out into the world about my experience in one convenient place. So here it is. You’re welcome future Alyssa!

Now aside from wanting to put all of the links related to my story in an updated roundup post, it also felt like a good opportunity to do a little update and circle back to some of my opinions from early on that have shifted over the past two years and nine months (give or take). Like everyone loves to remind expecting parents, there’s no way to know how much having a baby changes everything, and that rule definitely applies to single parents by choice too! Here’s a bit on what I’ve learned, and a touch of advice for those who’d like to take it too.

It’s ok to have boundaries //

When I first started trying to get pregnant, I was so eager to share my story. I felt so empowered and proud of myself for taking my dreams into my own hands, and I assumed my “why” would really resonate with people who had similar dreams. What I didn’t expect was the focus on the “how” that came hand in hand with sharing my news, and as my story picked up steam, the questions only got more personal. Truth be told I was caught totally off guard, like I was being asked to validate my story by proving that I went about getting pregnant the “right” way. When I was open about using a known donor instead of a clinic, the scrutiny only intensified.

Let me be clear – there is no correct way to become a single mom by choice! Whether you purchase sperm and go through a clinic to be inseminated, DIY getting a known donor’s semen into your body with something you read about on the internet (oh hey menstrual cup), or have wildly enjoyable sex with your (consenting!!!) next door neighbour, you are just as much a SMBC as anyone else who made the choice to dive into parenthood without a partner. I recently had a follower ask via DM’s if Summer was actually even planned because I got pregnant outside of a clinical setting, and though I was a bit offended, it solidified the judgement I’d felt in the passive remarks and endless questions I’ve received since announcing my “non-traditional” pregnancy.

In retrospect, I wish I’d kept the door shut when it came to that part of my journey – it felt private and too sacred to share, but I panicked and answered the questions in the moment as best as I could for fear if I didn’t, those asking would assume I was covering up an accident. No one asks heterosexual couples exactly how they got pregnant – imagine asking someone if they needed clinical help conceiving with their husband? Or what position they were in the moment they conceived? You wouldn’t, because it’s private! Just because the way you got pregnant isn’t “the norm”, or wasn’t necessarily with someone you romantically love, doesn’t mean you owe anyone an explanation! Especially because sharing details when a known donor is involved could jeopardize anonymity. When I get similar questions about DIY insemination now I advise doing your own research online, speaking to your doctor, and following one golden rule: whatever way you feel most comfortable getting semen into your body will probably work just fine!

*not totally related but I recently came across this cute new syringe product specifically created for at-home inseminations and I love that a brand is making that route more accessible / acceptable!

You can prepare, but you won’t ever be fully prepared //

This point applies to ALL parents, not just the SMBC / SPBC folks. I did everything I could think of to prep for having a baby, and for the first few months, it worked. Aside from my unexpected c-section, life with a newborn was blissful – I could work whenever I wanted, she slept very well from day one thanks to the , I was free to go pretty much anywhere I wanted with her strapped into a carrier on my body, she napped on the go when necessary and breastfed on demand.

But once she started moving, so many of my plans went out the window – a lot of the support systems I had carefully put in place fell through and I hadn’t really made arrangements for daycare or a nanny because I didn’t think I’d need it as someone who works from home and has such a flexible job. The reality is, being a mom is a full time job. Period. Even with a career path I had specifically chased because it was so well suited to being a solo mom while still making a living, I learned the hard way how truly impossible it is to work full time and mother full time without some form of childcare in place. I would call this my biggest blind spot when it came to planning for single parenthood, and I’m still struggling to find a balance that works for us (suggestions welcome – I’ve been on a waitlist for the only affordable daycare I could find over a year and there’s still no availability in sight!)

There’s no such thing as “too soon to tell” //

So much about my journey to motherhood was not traditional, but I did stick to the old “wait until you’re out of the first trimester” to share my pregnancy news, and looking back I wish I’d had the bravery to break that taboo. First off, I think it does birthing people a huge disservice to encourage the isolating practice of keeping a pregnancy secret, when that person is likely to need support and understanding, especially in the case the pregnancy doesn’t make it to term. In other words, we don’t expect parents to stay quiet about miscarriages anymore, so why is it still the norm to keep pregnancies a secret “just in case”?

Building on this point, I also wish I’d had the courage to share how much I wanted children before I started trying. As someone who hasn’t had many long term relationships and spent a lot of her time single, I often felt like my desire to be a mom was misplaced because it’s frowned upon to be open about parenting dreams when you’re single, especially in the hetero world. In an effort to avoid being labelled “baby crazy” and turning off potential partners, I mostly kept quiet about how much I wanted to be a mom, and looking back I regret keeping my goals to myself until they were well underway. I say, let’s normalize people, especially young single women, being open about wanting kids without it being attached to the word “crazy” or becoming a deterrent. If it’s acceptable for women to be anything they want, motherhood shouldn’t be an exception to the rule. It should be just as celebrated to talk openly about wanting to be a mom as it is to talk openly about wanting to run your own business, or be a basketball player, or whatever you care deeply about doing!

Acknowledging my Privilege //

I’m constantly learning, and over the past couple of years I’ve re-examined the way I originally discussed my path to parenthood. When it comes to this conversation it’s important to acknowledge that not everyone is able to make this decision, and that I was able to make it for myself from a place of privilege. Yes I worked hard to get here, yes I built my career on my own and saved up to be able to support myself, but that doesn’t mean being white, cisgender, and non-disabled didn’t impact my ability to make this decision in the first place, and that should always have been a part of the dialogue.

Ready for more? Scroll down for every link related to my story that I could find…

Written on this site //

Early days Q+A

Halfway There Pregnancy Update

My Birth Story

Written Articles Elsewhere //

Flare Magazine Announcement

Flare Magazine Dating While Pregnant

Huffington Post Article

FASHION Magazine Interview

Toronto Star Article

Parent Canada

Happiest Baby Blog

Podcasts //

Knix Faces of Fertility Podcast

The Fill Your Cup Podcast

*This one is the most recent interview I did, from Spring 2020!

Other Media //

That time my story was up for discussion on The Social

Global News Mini Video

If I’ve missed anything else, please send me the links in the comments and I’ll add to the list!

Photos by Scarlet O’Neill

A Pastel Baby

*Note – I didn’t get a chance to go live with this post before baby Summer arrived, but I wanted to post it as-is anyway because it’s how I was feeling at the time. In the end I wasn’t able to turn my baby, but that doesn’t mean these tips and tricks won’t work for you as they have for so many others. Happy turning!

If you’ve been following along on my pregnancy journey you’ve probably caught on that I’m obsessed with prep. Patience is not my strong suit, and waiting over 9 months for a delivery date that’s totally unknown to me has been a major life lesson to say the least. I have read so many amazing books (I’ll be posting a recap of all my favourites, along with everything else I did to get ready for baby after my little one arrives! Now live here), I’m even taking an infant CPR class this weekend.

The problem is, just like so many people tried to tell me, birth really isn’t something you can plan.

Breech births run in my family, and after hearing my mom’s treacherous vaginal breech birth story with me (induced labour for 24 hours with no pain relief, a botched episiotomy and forceps, the list goes on) it was definitely a fear in the back of my mind. Multiple midwives and healthcare practitioners confirmed baby was head down early, and I was so received that I bragged to just about everyone I could, “baby is already head down! Can you believe it?”

On Christmas eve I went in for my 34 week checkup and mentioned my own breech birth and how happy I was that baby was head down. As the midwife felt around in my belly for longer and longer, the panic started to rise. She decided to send me for an ultrasound, just to be sure, because the heartbeat wasn’t loudest in the spot it should have been, and the body parts she was feeling were altogether confusing. A couple days later I went in for the ultrasound and all of my fears were confirmed – baby was in the exact same position I myself was born in 28 years ago.

I spent the next 5 weeks frantically trying everything I possibly could to get my baby into the correct birthing position. If you’ve read my birth story you know that in my case, nothing worked, but I have no regrets about trying my absolute hardest to shift Summer in my belly, despite the outcome.

Roughly 3% of babies remain breech to term, but lots of others are breech at an earlier date and need a bit of help making the big flip while there’s still room to do so. Finding out my baby was head up was one of the most stressful, overwhelming and disappointing moments of my pregnancy, and for the weeks to follow until my birthing day it was all I thought about, every second of every day. I wanted to share everything I tried as a way to pass on my newfound knowledge, but also to simply let any breech mamas out there who are struggling with this same situation know that they’re not alone! Whether your baby turns before your due date or not, you will get through this. Until then, keep working on those breech tilts and downward dogs!

Note: I am not a doctor and everything in this post was based purely on my personal experience. Please consult your doctor or midwife if you think your baby might be breech! 

The Upside Down //

There are a lot of great positions and movements you can do to use gravity and create more space in your pelvis for baby to budge. Spinning Babies was a great resource for me and came highly recommended by many of my followers. If you’re confused about what any of the positions are supposed to look like, try searching the specific name on Youtube for a video – I watched so many different versions of “breech tilt” before I felt comfortable trying it (in the end I built a ramp using my couch pillows, because I don’t own an ironing board!)

Moxibustion, Acupuncture and Webster Method Chiropractic appointments at West End Mamas //

Before pregnancy I had never had acupuncture or chiropractic work, and all I knew about Moxibustion was that it was the thing Jane The Virgin tried to turn her baby, which led to her falling asleep and almost burning her house down (that said, her baby turned haha). West End Mamas offers lots of different treatments and support to help with turning baby, like chiropractic hip adjustments to make sure there’s as much space as possible (the Webster technique specifically), and acupuncture to encourage baby to move more. The moxibustion is also meant to get your baby moving, and it’s basically like burning a giant stick of incense by your pinky toe (the hotter/closer the better, but it’s VERY easy to burn yourself!) Dr. Kinga at West End Mamas will burn the moxa stick for you while the acupuncture needle is in the same baby toe point, and I found that the most helpful (I can’t say I’m a huge believer in acupuncture, but Summer moved a lot in those appointments!) If you’re not based in Toronto, many acupuncture practitioners will offer this service, you just might need to shop around a bit. You can also order the moxa sticks online – I used this brand, though my at-home daily sessions ended in a burnt pinky toe and a burn in my favourite area rug. Oops!

Swimming //

If you see a hugely pregnant woman doing flips in the slow lane at your local public pool, she’s probably trying to turn her breech baby! I liked this option because it felt good to be in the pool getting some exercise regardless, and it was a bit less awkward and weightless feeling compared to some of the other upside down positions – downward dog at 38 weeks is no easy feat! 

Bouncy Balls //

Is there anything a birthing ball (aka exercise ball) can’t fix? I ordered mine around month 7 and I seriously wish I had one in my life sooner. It’s great for your pelvis and hips, and even if your baby isn’t breech it can really help with getting them into optimal birthing position. Bouncing on the ball has also proven to be the only thing that calms Summer down outside of the womb this past month, so I can’t speak highly enough of this (very affordable) investment. Lots of women also use them for supported positions during labour too!

Long Walks //

By the end of pregnancy baby’s head is the heaviest part of their body, so naturally they should drift head down, and walking can help gravity do what it does best. I walked my dog as much as I could right up until my c-section date and it really helped me feel strong and healthy, even if it didn’t end up working as a flip method. 

Hot and Cold “treatments” //

I did a lot of sitting in a hot bath to try and encourage my baby to flip towards the warmth, and sometimes I’d even put an ice pack at the top of my belly near baby’s head to try and convince her it was more fun to hang out head down in my pelvis. I read a lot about this one on the internet and though it’s debatable if baby can actually feel the cold in there, it absolutely created a lot of movement with Summer, so I think it was worth a shot (though it felt a bit mean and I was nervous to keep the ice pack on too long in case it caused some sort of brain freeze). 

Music Lessons //

There are many tales online about people shining lights into their vaginas, having their partner talk down there and encourage baby to flip, or playing calming music to their lower pelvis with headphones. I made a recording of myself talking to Summer and played that down low every morning, hoping she’d follow the sound of my voice. I also tried playing really loud obnoxious music where I could feel her head when she was already moving a lot to try and encourage her to flip away from it (my annoying music of choice was Skrillex, but who knows, maybe she’ll grow up to love it now haha!) 

Photos by Scarlet O’Neill

A Pastel Baby

I don’t excel at waiting. Some might use the word impatient, but I prefer something like “exceptionally driven”, and in cases where I do need to wait around, I stay sane by doing whatever I can to work toward that goal in the distance. When I’m waiting to leave for a vacation I painstakingly research and plan every stop I want to see, familiarizing myself with maps and studying what the local bloggers like to get up to. When I’m waiting for a special holiday or event I make mood boards, gather supplies, and create fun ways to countdown the days. But waiting to have a baby, something I already felt like I’d been waiting for years to experience, that was a whole other ball game.

Pregnancy can be a great time to rest, and there were a couple months around the middle of mine where I did just that, but for the most part I used every bit of energy I had left over from growing a tiny human to prep for that tiny human’s arrival. Heading into motherhood as a single parent, I knew my time would be even more limited than the average first time parent, and to combat my anxiety about how I was going to manage, I did what I do best – I planned and prepped.

I was so worried I’d regret not taking it easy during my pregnancy, but in retrospect I’m so glad I kept myself busy and accomplished so much, because as predicted it’s a lot harder to stay on top of pretty much anything other than cuddling, feeding and diaper changes after a new baby arrives (just getting this blog post done has been a nearly two month endeavour with Summer around!) Having a big to-do list kept me active and motivated, and I ended up feeling strong and confident right up until the day I gave birth because of it. The best part is despite none of my birth plans going as, well, planned, I still feel like every single thing on this list was helpful and worth my while. 

It has taken a lot longer than I had originally hoped to get these thoughts written out, and I have more pregnancy content still coming down the line too –  though I’m not pregnant anymore (or planning to be anytime soon!) hopefully some of this wisdom can be helpful to those of you who are newly pregnant or planning to be in the future!

Of course there’s no real way to be prepared as a first time parent, but here’s EVERYTHING I did to get ahead of the curve as best as I could before Summer made her debut:

Reading //

When I did want to take some slower time to myself during my pregnancy, I tried to read as much as possible. Brain power wasn’t at an all time high for me during those nine months, but I found making notes on the pages and bookmarking important bits really helped me keep track of my thoughts and everything I was learning! 

Some of my favourite titles were:

Nurture by Erica Chidi Cohen – If there is one single book you buy and read during your pregnancy, make it this one. It was so informative and I still refer to the new baby chapters all the time even now!

The Happiest Baby on the Block by Harvey Karp – If you’ve heard me rave about the Happiest Baby Snoo Bassinet, it was created by the author of this book and designed based on his research!

Hypnobirthing by Marie Mongan – This book was a little outdated and not the best for single parents because of all the heteronormative couple-based language, but I read it as part of my Hypnobirthing Course at West End Mamas and the breathing and relaxation techniques definitely came in handy at my birth and beyond.

Body Full of Stars by Molly Caro May – Not a technical book at all, Molly’s personal memoir surrounding having her first child made me feel less alone in my own emotional pregnancy roller coaster. A truly beautiful novel about motherhood!

The Rebel Mama’s Handbook For Cool Moms – This book was a gift and it provided lots of laughs for me on my journey to motherhood. I don’t agree with everything the Rebel Mamas say, but I admire that they have the tits to say it! (tits seemed more appropriate than balls in this context)

The Fourth Trimester by Kimberly Anne Johnson – This book is all about self care and taking it slow after baby, and though I didn’t personally follow all of the suggestions within these pages it was such an amazing resource and I learned so much about how other cultures view birth and postpartum too! 


Health and Wellness //

Dentist //

There’s a common misunderstanding that one should avoid the dentist while pregnant, but it’s actually more important than ever to go in for cleaning and check ups because the hormones are causing so many changed in your mouth! I found Gelinas Dental Studio after many years of switching from dentist to dentist here in Toronto, or avoiding it altogether.

Dental visits make my skin crawl at the best of times, but I knew appointments would be almost impossible on my own with a new baby, so I resentfully went in for a very overdue cleaning early on in my pregnancy. I was so pleasantly surprised by my experience at Gelinas – this all-female team is so knowledgeable and actually took the time to teach me all about my teeth and how the dental system works here in Toronto. They believe you should come in every three months during a pregnancy, especially if you’re suffering from severe gum bleeding (which so many women do). I ended up going in for two cleanings, and had a wisdom tooth removed with just a bit of local freezing (terrifying, but the amazing team at Gelinas made it totally doable). They even sent me a care package after Summer was born! 

Dog Training //

One of my biggest concerns with having a baby on my own was how I would manage all of my pets, specifically Mylk, who’s still just over a year old now! Being a young, high-energy dog with a lot of anxiety from his Husky half, I had a really hard time controlling him when he first joined our family, and I was really nervous about having him around a tiny human.

A friend of mine suggested K9X training and they were seriously unbelievable! It only took a handful of one-on-one sessions for me to get a handle on Mylk’s behaviour, and the tools K9X provided to not only keep his attitude in check, but also to keep him mentally engaged, were invaluable. We even practiced walking alongside the stroller with a training collar ahead of time, and now he’s amazing on walks with the little one! I can’t recommend this route enough if you’re worried about prepping your pup for your family’s new addition. 

Bridgestone Blizzak Winter Tires //

Being on the road with baby, especially during the winter was one of my biggest concerns. One of the safety measures I took to make sure my car was ready for all conditions that Canadian life might throw at me was putting Bridgestone’s Blizzak winter tires on my vehicle. They have amazing grip in ice and snow and gave me a confidence boost on the road. 

The Bump Method Pilates //

Working out has always been a crucial part of my mental health routine and keeping up my self confidence, so giving up being active while pregnant and already working through raging hormones and massive body changes wasn’t an option.

Though I kept up a lot of my regular activities like spin and jogging as long as I could, it was so nice to take The Belle Method‘s pregnancy-specific pilates classes, especially nearing the end of the nine months. I was always a bit nervous I was doing too much when I was working out on my own, but Nikki’s classes always felt super safe (she’s a new mom herself!) while still providing an awesome workout. I also learned a lot about my pelvic floor and core muscles, and connected with lots of other expecting moms. I’m excited to get myself to her baby-friendly postnatal classes now that I’m healed up from my C-section!

West End Mamas //

Let me start by saying overall WEM was a total sanctuary for me my entire pregnancy. It can be overwhelming navigating something as simple as massage therapy when you’re expecting because you body and baby seem so delicate, but WEM provides a one stop shop made just for mamas, so you always know you’re in good hands. 

Hypnobirthing Course – This course is definitely better suited to couples and people with anxiety surrounding birth. I found the breathing techniques and time spent meditating on the idea of birth helpful, but overall I don’t think I was the most ideal audience for the teachings since I felt so confident and positive about birth in the first place! I definitely think it can be a valuable course to invest in if you or your partner is nervous or unsure about what to expect on your birthing day. 

Massage Therapy – A basic when it comes to self-care, this one is pretty self explanatory. I did a lot of massage during my pregnancy and it was the best time to relax and let go. 

Pelvic Floor Physiotherapy – We all know about kegels, but did you know there are muscles in your vagina and pelvic bowl that can be way TOO tight? Turns out mine were, and I only found out through pelvic physio. Explained to me as “a deep tissue massage for your vagina”, this was a painful and strange experience to say the least, but I learned a lot about my body and left with the ability to properly release and relax a set of muscles I didn’t even know I had. This one is especially recommended after a vaginal birth and/or if you suffer from incontinence. 

Naturopathic Medicine – I had never been to a naturopath before my pregnancy and I expected the whole thing to be a bit too hippie for me, but in the end it was like a super in depth, informative doctor’s appointment that helped make me aware of all the ways my diet was failing me, and some small easy changes I could make to improve my energy levels. I now never leave the house without a protein dense snack, and what a difference! 

Acupuncture – I had planned to do induction acupuncture because so many friends used it successfully to start labour, but I never got that far. I did use it to try and help baby turn to the proper position, but no luck, and personally I found acupuncture super uncomfortable because I am scared of needles! Definitely not my favourite treatment on the menu, but it works wonders for many. 

Chiropractic Care – Chiropractic appointments at WEM are so much more than adjustments, and I was seriously blown away by all the amazing tools and techniques my chiropractor used on me. I carry a lot of tension in my back and neck, but after this appointment I felt more relaxed and loose than I have in years!

Infant CPR Course – This course was SO valuable and I’d take it 100 times over. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve felt reassured as a new mom that I would know what to do in different emergency scenarios, and that confidence is priceless. 

Self Care //

Self care means different things to different people, and however you define it, it’s so important to make it a priority, especially on the path to motherhood. All of my beauty rituals became all the more important to me as my body and sense of self changed so quickly, even if I had to rework them a bit to be more pregnancy friendly.   

Low Maintenance Hair Colour – I’ve always said I’d grow out my natural hair colour if I became pregnant, so when I got that positive test last Spring I knew it was time. Amanda and Alyson, my hair team at Blyss, helped make a difficult transition (aka massive dark roots) look stylish, and since their salon uses Davines hair colour (some of the most natural, low chemical products on the market) I felt better about the colour work we did to keep the new growth blended with the old blonde.

A super helpful hair tip for pregnancy and new mama hood – ask your colourist for a take-home toner or tinted conditioner that you can use in the shower to keep your colour fresh, in case you aren’t able to get back in for an appointment for longer than planned. 

Negative Space Nail Art – I love having something fun on my nails at all times, and though I kept up my monthly trip to Her Majesty’s Pleasure I found my nails were growing a lot faster than they had before. My trick? A more neutral or negative space mani that makes new growth at the base of the nail look like it’s part of the design! Think half moons, wavy cut outs, or a reverse french! 

Hatch Mama Beauty – I used this collection from day one and I credit their belly oil for my lack of stretch marks (I know that’s not how it works, but it can’t hurt right?) 

Lash Extensions – Lash extensions always make me feel beautiful with minimal effort – no eyeliner or shadow, just big lashes and a swipe of blush, and I’m ready for anything. I’ve tried so many different salons around the city, but N15 Salon is by far the best bang for your buck. These lashes feel and look great, but most importantly they last for ages, which is my top priority since becoming a mama. Having great lashes is also the key to effortlessly gorgeous birth photos if that’s something on your radar.  

Tea for Two – I am a tea addict as is, but I found I was more sensitive than ever to caffeine while expecting, so herbal tea was a constant in my house. Full disclosure: I used to work at Tealish, but that aside they truly have the best selection of all-natural herbal blends in the city. I especially love their dessert teas, like Toasty Almond and Lemon Meringue

Knix Leak Proof Panties – Comfort is key during the 9 months it takes to make a baby, and Knix moisture-wicking bras and underwear were my daily go-to. There’s seriously nothing softer on the market as far as I know, and the built in panty liners are really good for soaking up discharge (TMI? This was the bane of my existence in the third trimester) 

Other things on my list that never came to fruition //

Allergy Testing – Near the end of pregnancy you test for Group B Strep, and if you test positive you will need to be given antibiotics during your birth. If you have a penicillin allergy this can complicate a birth plan, especially for those who hope to give birth at home, as you may need an IV alternative. I wanted to get ahead of the curve and test my allergy to penicillin, something I had never done following a reaction I had as a kid, but unfortunately after being referred I was told pregnant women can’t do the full scope of allergy testing. If this is a concern for you, it’s a good idea to get the testing before baby is already on the way! 

Finding a Paediatrician – I was determined to find my baby a doctor pre-birth, but it’s SUPER hard in this city! In the end I took her in to a local walk in when her baby acne got really bad, and the paediatrician ended up taking her on as an official patient on the spot. I can’t promise this method will work for everyone, but it’s definitely worth a shot! There are also lots of great kid’s drop in clinics around town if you’re having a tough time locking a family doctor down. 

Float – I was told a float can be a great way to feel weightless during the last couple months when the belly feels its heaviest, but because I had Summer a week early I never got the chance to try it out!

What were the best things you did while you were pregnant? I’d love to know some more tips that I missed!

*Note: I am not a doctor and this post is entirely based on my personal experiences while pregnant. 

Bump photos by Scarlet O’Niell 

A Pastel Baby

A note from my future self: In the years after my birth I’ve done a lot of a learning about breech presentation and how safe breech vaginal birth can be when supported properly. I highly recommend diving into this episode of Evidence Based Birth as a starting point if you’re interested in learning more about the facts surrounding breech birth and what your options might be. 

When I thought about writing this post, I always imagined the pride I’d feel sharing my beautiful home birth. No fear or panic, just essential oils, fairy lights and all of the women I respect and admire most crowded around a birthing tub in my living room. Together, with all the girl power we could muster between my midwives, my doula, friends and family, we’d welcome this new life into the world with no monitors, chords, masks or scalpels, just love (and maybe a couple well-placed crystals for good measure).

Reality check – as my doula Birth Boss likes to say, it’s great to have a birth vision, but there is no such thing as a birth plan.

I’ve always known when I finally became pregnant I wanted to have as little medical involvement in my birth as possible. I have trust issues from past trauma when it comes to medical professionals, I hate needles, and tend to go on the defensive whenever I’m asked to lay down on a paper-covered table. I don’t even take painkillers for goodness sakes! On top of that, I also had total faith that if I could stay calm and keep fear and panic at bay, my body knew how to do the rest – birth is hard, but it’s a natural process, so why would I need any medical intervention? Forget confidence, I’ll be the first to admit I was downright cocky.

I chose midwifery care over working with an OB (both options are covered by insurance in Ontario, which is amazing!) as it was really important to me to have a strong relationship with my birthing team versus potentially ending up with a doctor I hadn’t met before that happened to be on call when I went into labour. I found out I was pregnant early enough that I was able to shop around the city a bit, and in the end I went with Kensington Midwives based on recommendations from a handful of trusted friends. We started our monthly appointments and all signs pointed to a successful, healthy, happy home birth. I set up my birthing tub rental , researched all the supplies to stock up on (think Dexter level plastic sheets) and talked through every detail with my Doula, right down to what sort of scents I react well to. To prep myself mentally I enrolled in the Hypnobirthing course at West End Mamas, which I highly recommend to anyone with fear or anxiety about their birthing day, and I walked out of those six classes with even more confidence than I’d started with. Side note – I’ll be sharing all of the things I did to prep for baby during my pregnancy in a separate post, from Bump Method pilates classes to the books I read, but for now we’re sticking to the birth story!

Everything was going according to my plans all the way up until Christmas eve, six weeks out from my due date. I was calm, collected, and so excited to brave my birthing day; if I could sum up my attitude in three words, they’d be “Bring it on!” But all of that changed in an instant when one of my midwives felt around in my belly and couldn’t quite place what exactly she was feeling. Her look of concern grew when I explained I myself was born in frank breech position, and that it had been one of my biggest fears throughout my pregnancy after hearing about my mom’s birth experience. By that time, baby ideally should have been head down, and for weeks my chiropractor and midwifery team had been sure baby was, but this particular midwife had enough doubt to send me for an ultrasound to confirm position. I tried my best to fight the sinking feeling of fear that started to creep in. I kept repeating to myself “My mother’s birth story is not my birth story”.

There’s a lot to be said about breech birth, and I’ll likely save the bulk of it for a another separate post about everything I learned because I got SUPER into it, so for now I’ll stick to the basics. Gravity naturally pulls most babies head down so they’re ready to engage in the pelvis by 32 weeks, but some babies end up breech, aka head up. There are different types of breech, but in my case I was born frank breech, or bum first (bent in half, feet to head with my bum down, if you need a visual). Only 3% of babies remain breech until term (37 weeks), and guess what? I was one of those stubborn babies. Still, my mom had me vaginally after 24 hours of induced labour with no pain relief whatsoever (!!!), plus the help of forceps and a very extreme episiotomy that later had to be redone. Her birth story has always been a source of inspiration for me, but it’s absolutely not the ideal, and though everything worked out in the end, I was born not breathing and blue, requiring resuscitation before I let out my first cry. My dad still gets teary talking about it.

By the time I walked into my ultrasound and undressed a few days after Christmas, I already knew deep down what the results would be. As soon as the wand touched my belly just under my right rib cage, there it was – my baby’s head. Turns out all those times the pros had felt the head ready to engage near my pelvis, it was actually baby’s bum, as far back as 20 weeks based on the ultrasound records! My baby was in the exact same position on the exact same side that I had been inside my mom’s belly 28 years ago, only she had only been told on her due date – with 5 weeks left until mine, I became determined to turn my baby and get my birth plan back on track.

There are a LOT of ways to turn a baby inside the womb, and according to testimonials all over the internet it’s possible all the way up until labour (or in some rare cases, DURING labour too!) I can safely say I tried every single trick in the book over the next three weeks, a somewhat hilarious series of uncomfortable upside down positions, doing flips in the pool amongst elderly folks trying to swim laps, acupuncture, pointing a flashlight at my vagina… I’ll save all of the details for the above mentioned breech-specific post in case you’re in the same boat. Sadly for me, all of my efforts didn’t seem to make a dent – morning after morning I woke up to find baby’s head in that same painful, bruised spot under my ribs, and week after week ultrasounds confirmed my fear that baby hadn’t budged even an inch. I barely made it out to of the clinic each time without breaking down and bursting into heavy sobs in the street. For someone who loves to be in control and make things happen, I can’t begin to explain the anger and frustration I felt with every minute that ticked by – it was a powerlessness like I’ve never known. I went from counting down the seconds until my due date to wishing I could freeze time altogether.


At 37 weeks I booked my first ECV with the midwives. Successful roughly 50% of the time, ECV involves attempting to turn the baby by literally pushing it into place from the outside of the belly. Fetal heart rate is monitored for any signs of distress, and though the odds are low, the attempts can lead to breaking the waters, placental abruption, broken bones for baby, or worse. I showed up to Kensington Midwives with my emergency hospital bag packed and waiting in the car, and we got to work. I’d be lying if I said these sessions weren’t some of the most painful moments I have ever experienced – at one point three midwives were pressing their hands so deep into my belly that their arms were all shaking from the force. Some practitioners will only do this procedure under epidural because it’s so intense for mom, but my midwives assured me they literally couldn’t have pressed harder even if I had been totally numb (my Hypnobirth breathing came in really handy here!) My team tried as hard as they possibly could on two separate days a week apart, and though they were able to get baby about halfway around each time, for some reason no amount of pressure could accomplish a full turn. After the second unsuccessful try we started talking alternate options; unless baby chose to make a last minute flip, my home birth plan was officially out the window.

Though my mom had a breech vaginal delivery it’s now generally considered unsafe, especially in North America, and in a lot of cases obstetricians and midwives aren’t even trained in the art of breech deliveries anymore. Most breech births, especially in Canada, are automatically scheduled c-sections, which couldn’t have been further from the birth I had planned. These practices are slowly changing, and in some countries like Germany there are specific wards that do screening and provide specialized care aimed to support breech vaginal births, but even there, with perfect conditions and careful screening, the emergency c-section rate is still about 40%.

At this point my determination turned into a full-blown obsession, and it felt like all I read about, talked about, and thought about was breech babies. With only three weeks till my due date, I knew I was running out of time, especially since each passing week meant baby had less room to move at all, never mind turn head down. I poured myself into as much research as possible and prepared to fight the uphill battle for the same birth my mom had been given the chance to try.

Breech vaginal births are extremely rare in Toronto, especially at the hospital my midwives had privileges at, but my midwives told me someone had pulled it off successfully last Spring with the help of a specific OB on staff, so I was hopeful. I made an appointment to consult with that same OB, but the way the system works was never in my favour: even with his full support, I’d have to hope that I went into labour naturally, with no complications and steady progression, on the day this specific OB happened to be on call (a 1 in 11 chance). Generally breech births are not induced, and they also can’t go post-date because baby gets too big to have any chance of getting through the pelvis, so there was a very small window of time for all of the stars to align. In the case I went into labour and the OB wasn’t on call, my choices would likely be to accept an emergency c-section from another OB on call before baby dropped too far into my birth canal to turn back, or to brave the birth with no OB’s support and put all my trust in my midwives, who admitted they had somewhat limited training. The worst case – baby’s body is born but the head becomes trapped, leading to brain damage from oxygen deprivation or even death. Preventable death. At the end of the day it was entirely my decision, my child’s life in my hands. I was so hesitant to surrender control, to give up my plans, to let go of all of the excitement I had built up to labour and breath and push. I didn’t know how to stop fighting, even when everything appeared to be stacked up against me.

And then I lost my dog Honey. In the same few days I was trying to decide how to bring my baby into the world, I had to make the decision to say goodbye to my best friend. In a moment, it all came crashing down on me – watching the life fade from Honey’s eyes at the vet that Friday night humbled me, and all at once the fragility of it all swept over me. You know that feeling when you run into the ocean to play in the waves, confident and excited, but slowly they get stronger and you start to lose your footing? The waves may even sweep you off your feet, and though you’re swimming you’re no longer in control of your direction at all. Something much larger and more powerful has you in it’s grasp, and suddenly you realize you’re in too deep, surrender, and swim with the waves until you’re safely back to shore? This felt like that. Growing up on the West Coast I learned early that one should never underestimate the power of the ocean, but I’d somehow lost track of the power of life and death itself.

When Honey went, all of my fight went with her. The feeling of loss was suddenly so tangible, and I just kept repeating, “I can’t lose even more”. For the first time in my entire pregnancy and birth planning experience, I was scared, really truly scared.

I went to meet the OB with my Doula by my side, and though my original plan was to argue my right to a breech vaginal birth no matter how hard he resisted the idea, I walked in ready to listen to him instead. The OB was young, warm, and respectful even when I asked about 100 questions that made it clear I didn’t trust him at all. When I asked about vaginal breech birth, he said it was out of the question – hospital policy had become more strict after the case last Spring that I had heard about, and it was no longer an option any OB at my midwives’ hospital would be comfortable supporting. If I wanted to go that route, he said I’d basically be going rogue, taking on a risky birth with only my midwives’ limited experience, against his medical advice. Of course I could try to find another OB at another hospital in the city (a few exist!) that would support my plan within the next week, but that would mean losing my midwives because they only have privileges at the one hospital. And then he said the words that really hit me: “As an OB I have a lot of tricks, and I’m trained to do a lot of different things when a baby is in trouble, but nothing gets my heart racing like a breech baby whose body is born but the head is stuck.”

I finally surrendered. I asked him what my best options were and he suggested coming in for one final ECV attempt under epidural with ultrasound monitoring in the OR at the hospital. If he was able to turn baby, I could go home and wait for labour to start naturally, and have the birth I had always hoped for, or we could induce on the spot to ensure baby didn’t turn back. If he couldn’t make the baby turn, he’d offer me a c-section that same day, as that would be the end result anyway, and I’d already be prepped with an epidural and ready to go. “I can book you in for Friday” he said. I took a second before agreeing, “Ok, let’s do it. Next Friday right?”

“No,” he replied, “I can only fit you in this Friday.”

It was Tuesday.

The next few days were a blur. I held off my tears until I was safely in the car, called my mom and told her she probably needed to get on a plane. Then I went home and let myself feel it all: mourning Honey and wishing she could be around to comfort me, accepting the loss of the birth I had dreamed of, trying to wrap my head around having a major surgery in just two days, around caring for an infant on my own while healing from surgery for 6 weeks. Yes, the top priority had always been getting my baby here safely, but I don’t believe delivering a baby safely cancels out being protective of your own body and experience too. I felt like I had failed myself, my midwives, and my baby – had I given up too easily? Those hours before my family arrived from across the country were some of the hardest and loneliest I have ever been through.

But then my parent’s flight landed, and we went to Baskin Robbins to pickup tubs of ice cream, and made a reservation at my favourite restaurant for a “last supper”. We cleaned the house from top to bottom, and I poured myself into my birth playlist, a comfort from my original home birth plan that the OB was allowing me to bring into the OR. By the time my sister arrived Thursday night I was starting to feel something new bubbling up: excitement. We sat down to our late night dinner (you can’t eat after midnight the night before, so we really ATE!) and talked about how it might be our last dinner as just four Garrisons (plus Johanna, who was there as an honorary family member of course). I can’t begin to tell you how hard it was to get to sleep that night.

We headed to the hospital at 6:30am with way too many bags of supplies for pretty much any outcome. Everything had happened so fast that most of my friends had no idea any of this was even happening, which made the whole thing feel like some sort of crazy secret mission. After we’d checked in I was asked to strip down immediately, and they hooked me up to a monitor to watch baby’s heart rate and movements, tracking that everything was ok before trying any procedures. My midwife, doula, mom, dad, sister, and Johanna (aka the dream team) all huddled around me as the monitors took their measurements, nervously laughing amongst ourselves and listening to the woman in labour on the other side of the curtain to our right. On the outside I tried to keep it together, but on the inside? Panic is an understatement – you better believe that under those hospital blankets I was shaking like a leaf.

The OB came in with an ultrasound machine to confirm baby hadn’t done a miraculous flip (it happens!), which of course my headstrong baby had not, and within minutes I was saying goodbye to my big birth entourage and heading to the OR with my midwife and my mom by my side. We met the anesthesiologist, a truly lovely man who reminded me “an epidural is very different when you’re not in labour and needing it” when I admitted how terrified I was. With the help of all of my breathing practice I stayed super still, holding hands with my amazing midwife, and the epidural went in no problem (though it was NOT a fun feeling). Before I knew it I was laid out on the table half-naked with a catheter in (I didn’t feel that part thanks to the epidural, PHEW), monitors all over my belly and my arms stretched out beside me like I was being prepped for crucifixion. The OB came in and we were about to get started with the ECV when the baby’s heart rate dropped. Apparently this is a very common reaction to the epidural, but I had been listening to baby’s heart rate my entire pregnancy with an at-home fetal doppler and I had never heard it anywhere close to that slow. Panic rose in me on top of all the nerves already coursing through my body, and though I could barely feel my legs I knew they were shaking more than ever. Everyone froze for what seemed like forever, until baby’s heart rate slowly climbed back up to a normal reading and we all let out a big sigh of relief. I was half expecting someone to have to grab a scalpel and cut me open right then and there!

The OB put in a good effort to turn my baby, but unlike the earlier attempts with my midwives there was almost no sign of movement at all – I was 39 weeks, and baby was simply too big to be shifted. Even my wonderfully optimistic midwife, who stayed hopeful about turning baby and having my home birth right up until the very end, admitted there was just no chance.

And so with the epidural already in, my dream team by my side, and only a week left until my due date, I said yes to a planned c-section, the one birth story I had never ever thought would be my birth story.

There was no rush because I wasn’t in labour, so everyone moved slowly and carefully around the room. My epidural was turned up and when asked to move my legs I found them buried under a pile of invisible cement. The room swelled with more medical staff, but each person that came in took the time to come over and introduce themselves. I had given my OB a long list of requests I hoped he’d honour if it came to a cesarian, and to my surprise he and his team did their best to accommodate every single one. The paediatrician agreed to hand me my baby immediately, without the traditional checks and wipe off at the warmer, as long as baby came out pink and crying, and my gown was moved out of the way for immediate skin to skin cuddles. Everyone in the room was aware I wanted no shop talk during the surgery, delayed chord clamping, and to keep my placenta so that it could be encapsulated for consumption (more on that later!) I had also told the OB I really wanted to watch my baby being taken out, and he agreed to setup the light above me so that I could see the surgery in the reflection if I chose, something he admitted he’d never offered to anyone before. But my favourite detail? My mom was struggling to setup the bluetooth speaker with my birth playlist because her Spotify kept playing ADVERTISEMENTS (I was in a panic, repeating over and over “My baby can’t be born to an AD mom!”) and she didn’t know how to use my android phone to access my premium account, so after making sure I was ready to go and totally numb the anesthesiologist went over and helped her setup the speaker. One of the nurses even mumbled, “Well, you don’t see that every day!”

After they had checked I definitely couldn’t feel anything from the chest down, a blue sheet was raised between me and the surgery zone. My mom was holding one hand, my midwife the other, and I looked up into the light’s reflection just in time to see the OB take out a scalpel and make a cut. My baby’s birth had officially begun.

I don’t know how many minutes getting to baby took, but it felt like forever. My mom and I both had tears in our eyes as we remarked in disbelief that I was having a baby that very moment. I kept asking the midwife, “Are they close?”, and she’d give me little reports on what stage of the surgery the OB was at. Watching all of the cutting bits in the light’s reflection got the best of me at one point and after a particularly gruesome squirt of blood I became convinced I was going to throw up, but the anesthesiologist jumped into action and added gravol to my IV, which instantly took the nausea away. It was around then that my midwife reported “they’ve broken your waters!” The surgery team lowered the sheet by my head and someone told my mom to stand up and get ready to take photos. I don’t know exactly which song from my playlist was playing – in that moment everything went silent around me.



At 10:02am on January 25th, during a snowstorm that would last a whole week, Summer Honey Rose Garrison changed my life forever and made me a Mom. 6 pounds 5 ounces, long and skinny, with a full head of dark wispy hair and the sweetest little rosebud mouth you ever did see (rumour has it she got it from her mama). The OB pulled her out bum-first, the same unique way I had come into the world, and because she was pink as can be they put her right onto my chest, blood, vernix and all, just like I had dreamed all along. I had left the sex of my baby a surprise, so my mom got to announce “it’s a girl!” to the room, though it took her a couple moments because fresh babies are born so swollen and she was terrified to make a mistake. She was tiny and precious and perfect from her spindly fingers down to her oddly long toes. Holding her in those first few moments was a high like I have never known. She was more beautiful than I ever could have imagined, and yet I felt like I had been waiting for her all of my life.

I clung to her the whole time the surgeons were stitching me up, and then my mom took her with the midwife to meet me in the recovery room. Once settled there, Summer and I cuddled up naked and tried our first attempt at breastfeeding, all the while shooing away the nurse who kept trying to clean her and get her into a diaper (“She’s going to pee on you!”) and laughing hysterically about my mom’s account of the whole experience. Apparently she had put the placenta down for a minute after it was handed to her and before she could get back to it the anesthesiologist was heard exclaiming “ummm, there’s a placenta on my chair…”

After about an hour it was time to move from the recovery room to my hospital room, which meant reuniting with the rest of my birth crew. We rounded the corner and rolled down the hallway to find all of my nearest and dearest waiting with phones poised for photos and tears running down their faces. For the next couple of hours as Summer met her people, our people, I don’t think I stopped smiling for a second. I’m still smiling over two weeks later as I write this. Hospital or no hospital, crystals and essential oils aside, every second was soaked in magic.












The rest, as they say, is history. Summer and I passed all of the discharge tests early with flying colours, and because I had made it clear from the very beginning that I was not happy in the hospital, we were able to go home after just 24 hours instead of three days later. Breastfeeding was as painful and awkward at first as I had expected, but we got the hang of it pretty quickly and my milk came in on day three despite the c-section, which can delay things in that department. I had prepped myself mentally to be bedridden on one floor of my home with no hope of escape for 6 weeks, but it turns out my body had other plans – I’ve been able to get up and down the stairs no problem as long as I take it slow, and since I never needed narcotics, just over the counter pain medication, driving isn’t completely forbidden either. Summer, being the unicorn baby she is, has slept constantly and cried very little, giving me ample time to heal. I still can’t lift anything heavier than the baby, which is a lot of things considering she’s SO small, but my mom has been staying with me to help out, and watching the way my family has come together to support me as I regain my strength has been the most beautiful, heartwarming gift. Every morning I wake up to Summer’s hungry cry, leaky nipples that soak through my shirt, and the sound of my mom boiling the kettle for tea downstairs, and I don’t feel sad for the birth experience I lost – I marvel at all of the love I’ve gained.

In the end, nothing went the way I wanted it to, and yet looking back I wouldn’t change a thing. I believe the most important thing about a birth story is that the birthing person felt empowered, heard, and in control, able to advocate for what matters to them and ensuring everything that was done was done with consent. My experience went above and beyond that criteria, and if anything it helped me regain a bit of faith in the medical system’s ability to work with an individual on a more personal level. Of course part of me wishes I had been given more support from the hospital and their medical team to try for a breech vaginal birth, especially after watching my mom’s kickass birth video recently (she is a warrior), but with the headspace I was in and the options available to me, I think I made the right choice. Hopefully in the future more research and training will lead to more options for birthing people with breech-presenting babies in Toronto and beyond. It is possible for many, and from what I gather change is on the horizon, it just wasn’t meant to be the birth story for me – and that’s okay. Having a c-section wasn’t any worse or better, it was just different.

On January 25th 2019 Summer came early, with the help of monitors, chords, masks and scalpels, but most of all, with so much love.



Special thanks to Scarlet O’Neill for the incredible birthing day photos, to my doula BIRTH BOSS who made sure I never felt alone, and to my team at Kensington Midwives for always making me feel strong and supported

*The above story is based on my personal story and experience. I am not an expert or medical professional.